February 14th – Valentine’s Day
There are days like this when alone doesn’t even begin to cover it. Don’t get me wrong; I’m used to being alone and it takes a lot to make me feel lonely.
Roughly 2 dozen Valentine’s Days. Alone.
That same amount of Christmases and New Years.
England at 19, alone.
Lost in downtown New York at 2 in the morning. Alone.
On the road to New Hampshire. Alone.
On trains and buses and planes. Driving cars, walking, roaming empty streets, pushing through crowds to find my way. Alone.
Nothing compares to this, though.
Being away from home on Valentine’s Day, in a country that isn’t my own and surrounded by strangers. I never felt so out of place and so desperately lonely. I felt bad and wrong and it didn’t seem like there was a place for me.
Why? Because I wasn’t with family or a girlfriend/wife?
Because there was only me?
Because I was alone?